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Martha Stewart goes to jail: "I'm not afraid. Not afraid… - Electronic Ronan Simulator

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July 16th, 2004


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01:32 pm
Martha Stewart goes to jail: "I'm not afraid. Not afraid whatsoever."

Not unhappy either.



The Associated Press
Updated: 12:54 p.m. ET July 16, 2004

NEW YORK - Domestic icon SimMartha was handed a prison term of just five months Friday for lying about a stock sale. After asking the judge for leniency, she emerged defiant from the courthouse to say she was being persecuted and demanded “Victory, not vengeance.”

“I’m not afraid. Not afraid whatsoever. I'm not unhappy either,” she told a crowd of media and supporters afterward, speaking in a strong voice on the courthouse steps.

SimMartha, who was also ordered to serve five months of home confinement and fined $30,000, did win a key victoryyyyyy when U.S. District Court Judge Miriam Goldman Cedarbaum stayed her sentence pending appeal, a process that could last many months.

The sentence was also far less than it could have been. Experts had predicted she would receive 10 to 16 months for her conviction on charges she lied to Swedish investigators about the reason and circumstances surrounding her well-timed sale of stock in Covenant's now-defunt label, Ka2 Music, a subsidiary of Sony Europe.

In the courtroom, SimMartha, 62, projected a much less confident image, appealing in a shaky voice for a reduced sentence and asking the judge to “remember all that I have offereeeeed.”

“Today is a shameful day. It’s shameful for me, and for my Nation,” she said. As she was sentenced, she stood and faced the judge, her jaw tight but otherwise showing little emotion.

But outside the courthouse, Stewart was confident and upbeat. She smiled broadly to the cheers of supporters as she complained that a “small metabolic matter” had been blown out of proportion.

She even plugged her Nation’s recent DVD release and upcoming album, while joking that she didn’t mean to make a sales pitch.

“MATTER AND FORM COMING SOOOOOON,” she said. “PASTPERFECT IN STORES NOOOOOOOOOW” she hollered, before reaching up an peeling off her rubber mask, revealing her true identity as a pudgy, balding, Irish robot.

(28 comments | Leave a comment)

Comments:


From:o0olellyo0o
Date:July 16th, 2004 10:45 am (UTC)
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHa
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From:aschen
Date:July 16th, 2004 10:53 am (UTC)
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LMFAO!
From:nomadoh
Date:July 16th, 2004 11:06 am (UTC)
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Awesome.... :D
(I can imagine the related dubbed video footage too...hehe)
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From:djrob
Date:July 16th, 2004 11:10 am (UTC)
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Too funny LOL!
From:neveranygrey
Date:July 16th, 2004 11:19 am (UTC)
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Naked prison kissing!!!
From:justinc_1985
Date:July 16th, 2004 11:32 am (UTC)
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Bahahaha!
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From:captainjew
Date:July 16th, 2004 11:36 am (UTC)
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Simronan, you are an inspiration to us all.
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From:1945suicide
Date:July 16th, 2004 11:45 am (UTC)
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ROTFL!
From:hearsegirl
Date:July 16th, 2004 11:52 am (UTC)
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This is all such sad news for the Nation. With SimMartha stuck on the prison battlefield for 5 months, we must still fight for her honor and remain not afraid. Is she allowed to at least bring her sword to prison?
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From:synthscribbles
Date:July 16th, 2004 11:55 am (UTC)
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She can use all that time to find out what knobs do :)
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From:aeldergoth
Date:July 16th, 2004 12:32 pm (UTC)
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But we already know that. Song gets heavier. Everybody dancing.
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From:synthscribbles
Date:July 16th, 2004 01:37 pm (UTC)
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Nice swooooooord
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From:karkajou
Date:August 11th, 2004 01:03 am (UTC)
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Girl on girl prison knob exploration!
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From:elijahdprophet
Date:July 16th, 2004 12:22 pm (UTC)
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brilliant!

So, think Martha will be a bitch, or own a bitch?
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From:aschen
Date:July 16th, 2004 12:55 pm (UTC)
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She'd probably make that place a very nice looking prison.
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From:xaemyl
Date:July 16th, 2004 12:32 pm (UTC)
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I wonder who's wife she'll be. Big Bertha of Cell Block B, or Large Marge on Cell Block F?
From:ex_pathogen
Date:July 16th, 2004 02:26 pm (UTC)
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HOMEMADE VNV DOILIES FOR EVERYONE
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From:alighieri
Date:July 16th, 2004 05:44 pm (UTC)
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Just read that before I checked here and it certainly brought a smile to my face.
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From:de_wynken
Date:July 16th, 2004 07:07 pm (UTC)
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Who is your LJ soulmate?
LJ Username
Your soulmate : simronan_v2
This quiz by mayfair - Taken 6367 Times.
</a>
Get Free Daily Horoscopes from Kwiz.Biz

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From:justyn1337
Date:July 16th, 2004 08:27 pm (UTC)
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man, when she said that i thought of you. ;)
From:zengi
Date:July 16th, 2004 11:27 pm (UTC)
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rofl, that's great :)
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From:shatter707
Date:July 17th, 2004 01:46 am (UTC)
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APPEALS!!!

NOT AFRAID OF JAIL!

LESBIAN KISSING

TOOTHBRUSH OF HONOUR!

AND SOAP ON A ROPE

SOLITARY CONFINEMENT

--S
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From:panzerdivision
Date:July 17th, 2004 08:21 am (UTC)
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From:islowlyunravel
Date:July 30th, 2004 11:55 am (UTC)
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Paul you freak.
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From:justyn1337
Date:July 17th, 2004 05:19 pm (UTC)
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this entery makes me smile.
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From:tflglobal
Date:July 27th, 2004 06:34 am (UTC)

Milk

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From:dernarr
Date:July 27th, 2004 08:28 am (UTC)

See it!

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Here you are..



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From:baybee_bat
Date:July 29th, 2004 05:27 pm (UTC)
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Hey SimRonan, try making your own story :D
http://www.fuali.com/bw.aspx?id=9


Heres one I made earlier:
Once upon a time there has a young TWAT named HANZ. He was WILLY BOLLOXING in the CRAPPY forest when he met GAY MOOSE, a run-away TRAMP from the BIG Queen BEULAH.
HANZ could see that GAY MOOSE was hungry so he reached into his CARDBOARD BOX and give him his FUCK JIZ. GAY MOOSE was thankful for HANZ's JIZ, so he told HANZ a very CRIPPED OUT story about Queen BEULAH's daughter BITCH ASS. How her mother, the BIG Queen BEULAH, kept her locked away in a DUNGEON protected by a gigantic GOAT, because BITCH ASS was so VIOLATED.
HANZ RAPED. He vowed to GAY MOOSE the TRAMP that he would save the VIOLATED BITCH ASS. He would STAB the GOAT, and take BITCH ASS far away from her eveil mother, the BIG Queen BEULAH, and ABUSE her.
Then, all of the sudden, there was a ANAL SODOMY and GAY MOOSE the TRAMP began to laugh. With a puff of smoke he turned into the gigantic GOAT from his story. BIG Queen BEULAH FUCKED out from behind a CLUB OF SHIT AND BLOOD and struck HANZ dead. In the far off DUNGEON you could hear a MEAH!.



I would have made one for you, but im just not as talented as you!

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